Pay close attention at night

I don’t know why it works this way for my kids, but they always seem to want to chat at night. Very conveniently at bedtime. Right when I want to disengage and just get a breather, they want to talk. So many of my most profound, intense, deep, emotional heart conversations with my kids have been after 8:00pm. I wish I could say I always recognize these moments. Sometimes I’m just too tired and selfish that I let the moment pass, hoping they’ll re-initiate in the morning. I deeply regret this. Sometimes I pay attention and realize how precious the moment is and there is no greater gift that hearing the hearts of my sweet babes.

The other night this happened with Ryder. With my husband sick in bed, I was flying solo at bedtime (well mostly solo- thank you Rachel for your help!). I had just finished getting Scottie down when I heard Ryder’s cry in the hall. I was SO exhausted. He was so upset. He was feeling really down on himself. He was sad. He didn’t really want to talk much about it, which I could have said “sounds like a plan to me, I love you, goodnight.” But something in me (thank you, Jesus) said to dig a little deeper.

I took him to my room and asked a few questions. He said he was laying in bed thinking “I’m just stupid. I’m a dumb boy.” Immediately I thanked God for this moment. That I get to be the one to hear his heart and to speak the truth over him. I asked him who would want him to think these things. With tears in his eyes he immediately said “the dumb snake.” I reminded him that Satan is a liar. He is the snake who comes to tell us wrong things about ourselves and about God. So we talked about what God says about him. Who God says he is. That God never lies. That God adores him. That he is special. No matter what….because he is Gods prince. Forever. Nothing can change that truth. Ryder believed it. (Take that, dumb snake.)

We had the sweetest conversation & prayer time. One that I will store up in my heart as sacred.

So mamas & dads, pay close attention. Pay attention when it’s about that time…. right when you might wanna just unplug and relax. Usually these conversations are unplanned. They can’t be forced or rushed. Take the time. Maybe it’s the time your kiddo will open up their little heart and let you in. There really is no greater honor & joy.

Xoxo, Em

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Thoughts after 4 years of no social media……..

When I first decided to take a hiatus from social media, I had 1 year in mind. Which at the time felt like an eternity. It didn’t take long for me to feel the effects. To be completely honest, I didn’t miss it. AT ALL. I loved being in my own little bubble, where only my closest people knew what was going on in my life. I would send them photos from our special moments, and they would do the same. It felt much more intentional and special. I definitely did not miss the mindless scrolling that would happen several times a day. I didn’t miss the comparison war that would rage in my head. I didn’t miss the fight to not care so much about who saw and liked my pictures. After year 1, I re-evaluated and felt like life had only gotten crazier so no need to add something that would take more of my time and attention. Year after year I just stayed off. And here we are 4 years (plus 2 kids) later!

My very favorite thing about being off social media is the private account I started through Instagram. Zero followers (ok maybe just one follower, my hubby) and zero following.

*can I recommend for you to do this! Regardless of your social media interactions, start a private feed for just YOU!**

I started this feed for ME. For no one else. I posted what I wanted to remember. Like the really special, raw, intimate, embarrassing, humbling, precious moments from life. It has been so special. Each year I have printed out several photo books straight from this feed. It’s an actual glimpse into our life. Things I want to remember. Things I want my kids to remember. We keep these books displayed in our house. The kids love them. I love them. (Thank you, instagram and Chatbooks)

I’ve learned serval times over that I have a bit of an extreme personality. What I mean is that I am all or nothing. Go big or go home. Either 1000% yes, or 1000% no. I’ve never been good at balance. I know this can be a strength at times, if I’m obedient to what Jesus has put in front of me- I go hard! And it can also be a weakness. One thing I have been praying through and working on is balance. In everything. Exercise, food, the latest oil fad, homeschooling, organic,… you name it. Social media is one thing where I went ALL out. For 4 years. And now, I’m going to try to ease back with balance. There’s gotta be a way, right? There are so many cool things that can happen through connecting with others. I have read some amazing posts that have deeply challenged and encouraged me. I also feel like I have had thoughts and experiences that I believe could challenge and encourage others. And, just simply- it can be really fun to see people’s lives that you don’t get to see daily in person.

So this time around I am going to be a lot more intentional. I am setting boundaries for myself. (To protect me and my family). No social media scrolling when I’m around the kids. They need my full attention and eye sight. **this matters mamas and dads!**

I want to be prayerful of the state of my heart before I sign in and after. I’ve gotta be real honest with myself about this one. Don’t start scrolling just as a distraction. Don’t start scrolling if I’m mad at my husband or my kids and I just wanna zone out. Don’t start scrolling & searching just to see if I was excluded from some party or event. I am limiting the amount of time each day that I open social media. Still choosing an app that monitors time spent on my phone. (Open to suggestions!) I want to take the time to encourage people in the comments, and actually post meaningful things. I might try to do a blog or 2 every now and then. I tried this before, and I always get overwhelmed and then quit. But again- balance!

Thanks for reading! I encourage you to take a moment and really evaluate your heart and mind with social media. It can be a a fun thing, or it can slowly destroy you.

Xoxo, Em

A welcomed laundry interruption……          

Oh. My. Lanta. There is so much laundry in my house. I’ll be completely honest. I basically suck at laundry. I have no problem putting all the dirty clothes in the washing machine promptly. I don’t leave dirty clothes around the house. I also have no problem washing & drying them. The problem comes with the folding….and the sorting…..and the putting away. Oh boy. Confession: I usually have 3-4 loads of clean clothes…..on my laundry room floor. 😳 Case in point: I suck at laundry. 

Usually I wait till evening, when it’s quiet in the house and no kids can run wild through my neatly folded piles of clothes. I turn on a show, eat something that’s bad for me, and fold the never-ending piles of {already wrinkled} laundry. It helps make the process a little more enjoyable. 

I have a system. I can’t explain the crazy system, but it’s sacred! Don’t mess with my laundry system.

 I’m sorry Brian, I’m not picky about much- but laundry and the dishes gotta be done my way 😜

{Here’s a bonus little glimpse into my system. Ready, GO! The older 2 boys shirts go in one pile if they match, and if all 3 boys have the same shirt those also stay in one pile. If they aren’t matching, they each have separate piles. Pants go in their separate piles- matching or not. Banner gets his own pile. Scottie too. If that’s not confusing, try this. Sizing. Banners 2, but he’s size 4. Ryders 4 but he’s size 5 or sometimes 6. Bostons 6 but he’s size 8 or 9. Good luck sorting!} 😥

  
Tonight as I was folding, the internet went out so my Netflix show turned off. It was actually a really cool, unexpected moment. As I was folding one of Scotties sleep sacs, I was flooded with gratitude and couldn’t help but say out loud, “thank you Jesus for my daughter”.

 Then I started looking at each piece of clothing I was folding and was truly flooded with emotion and unbelievable gratitude as I thought about what it all represented. 

I have a husband whom I adore. He has shown me the love and grace of Jesus more than any other human, ever.  I have 4 incredible, healthy, crazy wonderful kids. (FOUR KIDS! Whoa. That hasn’t hit home yet.) 

  
As I sat on the floor all comfortable & cozy, I felt thankfulness that I was sitting in a warm home. Even the fact that I have clothes for our family made me feel so thankful. Torn jeans mean happy boys who love to play. Food stains mean full bellies. Outgrown clothes mean I am  getting to watch them grow up.  

Tonight I got interrupted. God interrupted me to remind me of the abundant blessings in my life. I have much to be thankful for. Laundry has never been at the top of that list, but tonight it definitely was. 

It’s been a while…..

   Hello there! My goodness, I haven’t blogged in months! But with the new year already here, I Thought I’d write and reflect on the last year. 

What a year!!!! No social media for a year was awesome. The first month or two was hard. I felt disconnected in some ways and missed it at first. But after the first few months I never thought about it. It was very refreshing. I really enjoyed seeing people and genuinely having to ask “what is new with you??!!” It was really fun I ran into a lady at my sons school and she saw me holding my baby and was shocked because she had no idea We had a 4th- so fun! It’s fun to be surprised by what is going on in other people’s lives, too. (Also makes for easier conversation when you have to ask questions!)

I’ve enjoyed being much more intentional with my photos & memories as well. I started a private Instagram feed just for me. I keep all my photos and memories on there from the year, and then print photo books directly from there for our family to keep. It’s been awesome! I highly recommend it to all my friends now. I have also been blessed when my friends from out of state text me photos of them and their kids because they want me to be a part of their life- not just Instagram world 😉

 I also think just the simplicity of not having my phone on me all the time doing the habitual scrolling has been so nice. For me and my family. 

So when this year came rolling around….. I decided to give it another year off. My life has only gotten more full with the addition of our sweet baby girl. The older 2 boys are in school and sports, which makes for busy days with drop offs and pickups. Banner is home with me and the baby….. But he is our passionate, wild boy who needs constant hands-on…..mostly so he doesn’t harm himself or our house 😂 (this week he ate an eraser and shoved a raisin up his nose). We call him the hulk……

  
All that to say, I just don’t have extra time for social media. So I’ll re-evaluate in 2017! 

We are soaking up every moment with our sweet baby Scotlynn Lockett. Thank you Lord. She is pure joy. Her brothers are absolutely obsessed with her. Every single time they see her they smother her with kisses and tell her: “you’re the cutest baby girl ever!” They fight to hold her and argue over who gets to sit by her or who made her smile the most. She is so adored.  Our hearts are overjoyed and so thankful to God.

    
    
 

We will see what this new year holds, and hopefully I’ll make some time to post a few blogs every now and then. I really do enjoy blogging when I make the space for it. 

From our family to yours, Happy new year!

I pray you’re filled with God’s love, joy and peace this year! ❤️ 

Here’s a few more of our favorite photos of the last year….

   
    
    
    
    

  

  
     

  

   
 
  

Maybe mean kids are just sad.

There’s been a few times kids have been mean to my 5 year old (so help me, God). Oh man this tests my character- big time. I want to walk up to those kids and tell them they’re ugly, or mean, or dumb. Now, thankfully I have more self control than this. But I’d be lying if I wasn’t at least tempted to lash out on that mean 4 year old. Really mature, right?

 I try to talk with Boston about “mean kids”. He often asks me “mommy why do they have mean eyes?”.
I tell him most of the time kids who are mean, are actually sad. We just don’t know what they’re sad about. But that we should pray for them. Maybe they have owies? Maybe they miss their mommy or daddy. Maybe someone was mean to them. We don’t know. 

 Isn’t this true for us, grown ups !!?? People can be mean, brutal sometimes. I wonder how often we take it way to personally? What if we considered their story? What if they’re deeply hurting. Could it all be a cover? A way to protect themself? What if we prayed for them? What if we even we’re kind to them. What if we blessed them?
I wonder how things would change……
I wonder.

Happy birthday to my miracle, Ryder Crosby. 

 

 A little over 4 years ago we had a massive pregnancy scare with our 2nd child. I was 15 weeks pregnant and started bleeding. Not just a little, but leaving a trail of blood through the ER. So scary. My first thought….this baby is gone. I had never heard  of so much blood loss during pregnancy and the baby surviving. Long story short, we should have lost Ryder that day. My placenta had a massive tear, which means loss of oxygen for the baby. Bad news. Doctors assumed the worst, put me on bed rest and all but told me to wait for the baby to pass. But God………..

But God chose to sustain his life. Each day that passed was a miracle and we didn’t know how many days I would get to carry him in my womb. Well, Ryder was born a week late on April 1, 2011. Perfect. Strong. No evidence of any trauma in the womb. Thank you Jesus. 

Ryder’s life has taught me more lessons that I could count on all my fingers and toes. I don’t know why God chose to let us keep him, but I am brought to tears with gratitude. Ryder’s life has taught me how to trust God when circumstances make no sense. His life has showed me to celebrate (not compare) the way He has created my children so uniquely different. I have learned the value of just BEING from my son. His love language is “being nice and cozy” and I have learned to embrace that and find such joy in stillness. 

I love that he is confident in his quiet demeanor. He and his daddy have this in common and I learn a lot from them. It takes a while for him to warm up to people, but once Ryder knows and trusts you- you will be smothered with his sweetness and love.   Ryder daily reminds me to focus on today. We have no guarantee of tomorrow and I don’t want to waste today worrying about what lies ahead. Finding joy in the moment- Ryder’s life has taught me that. 

This boy melts my heart. Jesus thank you for letting me be his mama. I feel overjoyed and humbled that I get the title “Ryder’s mama.” 

Happy birthday sweet boy. 

  

This is for all you mamas like me who struggle at dinner time….

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Just give them pop tarts for dinner! Yep, that is my simple solution. I know so many people are rolling their (organic, raw, vegan) eyes at me😉.

But in all seriousness, there is a time to just chill out. I have to say this to myself quite often. As a mom who has had a massive food battle with 2 of my 3 children….. I speak from experience. Typically someone is crying at our dinner table because they don’t like what’s on their plate. (Jesus help me).
Even if it’s the thing they loved eating 2 nights ago.

Last night I was just not up for the battle. ️Boston asked to have pop tarts for dinner, and instead of my typical “buddy those don’t make you big and strong” answer…… I said yes. You would have thought I just gave him a lifetime supply of cupcakes. Pure child bliss. I just laughed at how excited they all 3 were, and we enjoyed a tear-free “dinner” (if I can even call that dinner).

Sometimes it is fun to break my own rules. To just let a few things slide and enjoy the looks on their faces.
Tonight I jumped back on the good food wagon, but I’m not gonna lie. I am excited for another pop tart night soon. Their smiles were every nasty preservative worth it!

Em

I love my kitchen…. Until I see yours.

But, seriously…. This is no joke.
I’ll use my kitchen as a simple example. I really like my kitchen. I love the color scheme, lighting, floors, cabinets and layout. I am so thankful for the beautiful space we have, especially when its full of people & conversation. I recognize the amazing blessing our home is. I often pray to not take it for granted and to remember it is all an undeserved gift.
And still……. I forget.

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